If you, as I often do, scroll through blogger land by hitting the next button you will notice that you are inundated with bad blogs. As to not miss anything good, you typically spend at least a couple of minutes trying to find out what that site is about only to find that it's mindless dribble and you have just wasted five minutes of your aging life.
I have come up with a system that will immediately let you know how to avoid such blogs without actually reading any of the posts.
Don't read any blog that has ___"see below"____ in/on it, because it's going to suck ass:
Pictures of naked dudes
The color pink
Blinking / Flashing
Japanamation characters
Pictures of celebrities
Articles about celebrities
A Picture of Eminem
The words "youth group"
The word "teen"
Hearts
Unicorns
More than one scroll down screen
Streaming music from 50 cent
Pictures of Honda Civics with wings
Bitching about how bad America has it
Pop up ads
No next button / blogger bar
A foreign language, but doesn't have artsy looking photos of nude women on beaches
The words Mortgage or Home Equity
Any kind of business promotion
Short hand, example: "I luv 2 rite 4 u"
A "Friend of Israel" banner; No, the biggest recipient of US aid doesn't need your support!
A blogs for Bush banner; the previous applies!
A picture of someone's baby
A picture of something someone has knitted
Any discussion about the "war against Christians / the religious right and the liberal media"
More than four paragraphs per post (Me excluded)
A personal journal; No one cares if you ran out of clean socks!
No place for comments; Because you know you are wrong!
Wolves
A depiction comparing anything to Hitler and the Nazi's
Photos of someone's piercings that they think will freak you out
Pictures of someone's truck or motorcycle
And unless you're a bald eagle, no pictures of eagles standing in front of a flag!
Any shitty list of any kind!
Perfect example of a shitty blog : Shitty Blog
My other shitty lists:
How to be a Republican
Top 25 Ipod Desert Island Songs
Crazy Left Wing Liberal Causes
Classic Sex Offenders
Bomb Throwing Hate Peddlers
Just Sign My Guest Book
27 comments:
I agree for the most part. I wish people knew how to make there shit legible. I can't stand it when some go so crazy with HTML you can't even read it.
Hey now ... I think some of those criteria fit my blog. While it's certainly not anything great, it's surely not "shitty" is it?
Heh. Please throw "Japanimation" in there.
RE Grigor
Not at all.
No Bush Banners
No Pink Hearts
Fairly short posts
No Winged Civics
No 50 Cent or other celebrities
Most importantly, no naked dudes!
Youre good.
I already have Japanimation characters, doesnt that count?
The only thing I would disagree with is the Nazi thing, but only if they are comparing the current administration to the Party. Besides mine may be shitty, since I went to photography, but I think some of those shots are really cool.
Photo Blogs are acceptable.
Hehe.
John, that's priceless, but it pretty much leaves out all the kids, foreign blogs, and certain political websites.
But, hey we can live without them.
Thankfully, my blog doesn't meet your shyte list (which might be because I hate gaudy sites.) But, I digress.
I figured the pink hearts, unicorns the word teen and no 50 cent covered the kids. And I have the foreign lanuage blog on the list. As I said, they are ok as long as they are Spanish sites with artsy pictures of naked women on beaches.
Ahora, el blog del Toad es mierda porque yo escribo en español.
RE: Trick
Because I don't have any artsy black and white photos to offer and I don't want to break my own rules
Um..so what's the secret big boy? I'd like to avoid the entire list you made. They're ALL shitty.
you left a comment on my blog asking how did you know what did you mean
RE: Kentucky
I myself have no use for a cock flavored lollipop, although I am sure some do, nor do I have any use for a blog in Chinese.
I noticed Toad doesn't stop by our blog much anymore. Nice when he pops in though – uninvited and rude as he was the first time – he's become a rather welcome guest. Stop in again sometime Toad. Who knows, you might learn something. There are people smarter than you are there.
Brusier is right there is shit everywhere ...
I believe the White House is starting to smell...
Hey Toad,
I Jeff Gannon... really do want a case of those ...lolipops right away...
Air America Chicago 850 AM RADIO
I read your post, then I promptly went to the next button, and this is what I found
Hillarious Shitty Blog
Irony?… Karma?… who knows?
Bruiser needs to give up politics and stick to Horror Cons. Don't you have a new issue if Fangoria to read???
Now, shut up or I'm gonna tell your wife to send back that fancy new TV you got.
Nobody leaves baby in the corner...
As for anime characters it really depends on which ones. If its Vash the Stampede (dude with spiked yellow hair and a red trenchcoat), anyone from Dragonball or Inu Yasha, or any of the Americanized faux-anime, then yeah I agree. But there are people who like anime who don't suck
Might I add NASCAR-themed photos/writings to your list?
Although, the bald eagle/winged Civic/Nazi/pro-Bush thing probably covers that aspect of it.
RE: JKU
Im sorry, I thought that was obvious.
Although I really don't see too many NASCAR blogs for some reason.
Hmmm, I wonder why that would be?
How about using cartoon balloons to put words in the mouths of celebrities, like Enimem singing Michael Jackson's "Thriller"?
I guess that would be ok
Toad, believe it or not,I like your blog. I think you and I would get along really well if we met in real life...
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