Thursday, May 12, 2005

New Species

from CNN Thursday, May 12, 2005 Posted: 10:14 AM EDT
New species of rodent found in Laos:
New Species

A question for Christians / creationists:
If no one in the world besides local villagers knew of the existence of this animal, how did Noah get it on the Ark, and how did he return it back to Laos after the flood?

Better yet, why are Laotians short? Why do they have black hair, tan skin and slanted eyes? Is that what Noah looked like? After all, since God wiped out the entire earth besides Noah and his family, we are all descendents of Noah, right?

I know that being a Christian forbids you to succomb to logic, but it's ok, I promise, it won't make baby Jesus cry.

19 comments:

erinberry said...

Duh! God told Noah where the rodent was!

By the way, that must have been a big ass ark Noah had, to fit two of every species. Must have been gross with all those bugs, too.

Toad734 said...

Not to mention SMELLED LIKE SHIT!

Talk about a poop deck.

Joe Wiess said...

I hope I can interject something here. Most modern biblical scholars believe that the "Great flood" was a local flood that contained to just the Middle East.

There are many things in the bible that I can't explain, such as how a Whale can eat a person and that person live for three days, but that doesn't mean that I throw the whole thing out.

I don't believe that man evolved from Monkeys, but I do believe that man continues to evolve within his own species.

I believe that the creator formed man in a general image and every time man moved to a new place, he adapted to his environment.

Face it, after watching monkeys for 400 years, we haven't seen a single one turn into a man, but we have seen them learn to use sign language and even the computer.

shadylayne said...

Not to be a nerdy anthropologist-type, but we're somewhat related to apes, not monkeys. There is a difference.

Our ancestors were not organ grinders.

shadylayne said...

Oh, yeah. Based on the evidence found in some public toilets, some homo sapiens never evolved past throwing their own poop.

Toad734 said...

RE: Joe

Well that's my point to the fundamentalist. If one part of the Bible is unbelieveable or wrong, why do they only trust the parts that fit within their lifestyle. If one part is open to interpretation, all of it is.If part of it is just a fable, why isn't the rest? If one part of the Bible is all metaphors, why isn't the rest of it?
If a true fundamentalist believes every word, and thinks that it happened exactly how it was written, then that just shows how gullible they are and don't warrant a discussion.

Sunil Natraj said...

Your blog rocks... esp the one abt the Jesus snaps. Will be back soon. Visit me.

Joe Wiess said...

I'm very willng to accept and promote that the Bible was written by man, but inspired by the creator.

As we all know, men sometimes get things wrong. I've always approached the Bible as a guidepost, a signpost along the way to what lies on the other side. After all, what does all that geanology have to with me?

And to further confuse you, I believe that the acts in Revelations aren't for our generation, but for something that happened in the third or fourth century.

By the way, for an agnostic, you make me think you know the Bible better than you'd like to admit.

Someday we'll have to discuss the creation of Earth and the Universe.

Toad734 said...

RE: Joe
I actually pride myself in knowing more about the Bible than most Christians, it's a book with a bunch of stories just like anything else.

How could I say I disagree with it if I didn't even know what it says?

The problem is a lot of people do agree with it, and don't know what it says or its context.

For example, Jesus never said he hated fags, never said that the poor should be punished, never said that the hungry should fend for themselves, and never said the prostitutes should be thrown in jail and shunned from society.

Most people think that's what he stood for but typically they are getting that from parts of the Old Testament that describes how Jewish priests should live.

Unless Bush and company are Rabbi's then I don't think they can use the Bible as fodder for their arguments. If that were the case they would also all have to have beards and eat Kosher. Not to mention it would be unconstitutional to do so.

RE: Sunil

Yes, my blog does rock balls!

JEHOVAH said...

I SHALL SMITE THEE DOWN WHERE YOU STAND UNHOLY BLASPHEMOUS ONE. YOU HAVE ANGERED ME AND MY PATHETIC PUPPET GEORGE JNR.

Toad734 said...

RE: Joe

"Most modern biblical scholars believe that the "Great flood" was a local flood that contained to just the Middle East."

But thats not what the Bible says:

Genesis 7:
4: For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

21: And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
22: All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
23: And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
24: And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.


And if the Bible is wrong here, it can be wrong anywhere else.

erinberry said...

Joe says: "I don't believe that man evolved from Monkeys"

Uh, Joe? Were you paying attention in Science class? Because NO ONE thinks humans "evolved from monkeys."

Sandi said...

I believe that you all have it wrong, we came from wizards and witches!! Any day now they will discover the dragon bones.
Hey at least the stories follow logical lines and don't contradict themselves.

Two Minutes J said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Two Minutes J said...

Hmm, well based on research that I've done, the Great Flood was confined to the Middle East. However, one theory on the animals on the ark is that there wasn't animals on there at all. No, it was the DNA material of animals. Think about it, unless you're a fuckin retard you would know that it would be impossible to put 2 of every species on a boat. Especially one of Noahs size. However, it would be possible to fit test tubes with DNA material onto a boat. So...you may ask, where did Noah get the DNA of all of these animals??..The Annunaki mother fucker! But you wouldn't know anything about that. So I suggest looking it up. Also, to Mr. Joe Weiss and all other penis wrinkles: Revelation was not written just for the 3rd or 4th century. The Mark of The Beast is happening and being enacted as we speak. 666. Human Microchips. And thanx to your vote to George Bush, the Orwellian Society we have feared is now coming to pass. But then again, what would I know, I'm just a fuckin junkie, right?

Disclaimer: If you disagree with anything I write. You are wrong...Recognize...Also I am not responsible for any burning, itching or irration that you may have. That is, unless you had sex with me, and then maybe I am responsible.

BRUISER said...

'ELLO GUVNER & GUVNERESS',



I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU ... FIRE!

(IF ANYONE CAN NAME THAT SONG THERE IS LIKE 5.00 POTENTIALLY WORTHLESS AMERICAN DOLLARS IN IT FOR YOU ...AND MAYBE A CUP OF POOP WITH JOE'S NAME ON IT)

SO JOE DOESN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE SEEN A MONKEY BECOME A MAN...EXPLAIN THE BUSH FAMILY...

WHY JOE, IF JESUS NEVER HATED GAYS, AND GERORGE BUSH SENIOR MARRIED A MAN ....WHY GEORGE JUNIOR HATES THEM AS MUCH AS HE DOES?

THINK THE BIBLE WAS CREATED BY ANYMORE THAN DRUNK MEN WHO PENNED A BOOK IN THE MOUNTAINS? THEN DO I HAVE A POLITICALLY ISOLATED PARTY FOR YOU ...THEY ARE CALLED THE NAZI'S ...I MEAN REPUBLICANS...SORRY THEY GET ME CONFUSED ...YOU KNOW THE RED THEY ALL WEAR ...

RE: JASON ... YOU NEED A HIT...BECAUSE DANZIG GOT HIS ASS BEAT FOR BEING AS DOWNTRODDEN AS YOU...

Toad734 said...

RE: Bruiser

What the hell are you talking about?

Stop yelling!

BRUISER said...

Hey Toad,

Stop yelling?

Listen cracker... your too nice to the white man and his crazy antics.

Just kidding... it just pisses me off at how poorly the public is informed about the true history of the United States when 35% of today's High Schoolers believe that news should be CENSORED and RUN THROUGH THE PENTAGON before we 'MERICANS out here are "allowed" to print it ... looks like more children in those welfare counties of the Red States are being left behind daily...


Your Friend A Gun Totin'...Meat Eatin'...Nordic Death Metal Liberal...

Bruiser

NOW YOU START YELLING!!!

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