Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Is There Anyone in Washington with Moral Integrity? What About the Children?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005; Posted: 1:27 p.m. EDT
CNN-A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged Rep. Tom DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, forcing the House majority leader to temporarily relinquish his post.

It is a good day for America! Tom DeLay is stepping down from his leadership position as House Majority leader and will probably not be back. Now maybe we can find someone who has some real morals and values to fill this post. Jesus doesn't like liars and cheaters.

This is not the first time he has been in trouble. Back in 2000 he used the credit card of a registered lobbyist to pay for his golf trip and all his expenses on that trip which is illegal. He was also admonished three times last year by congress for his conduct.

This charge could carry a sentence of up to 2 years where he may be able to catch up with all his Enron friends he has not seen since they were sent to prison for their lack of moral integrity.

You see, Texas law prohibits corporations from making political contributions but rules obviously don't apply to DeLay. DeLay thought he could out smart the law by giving the money a quick wash in the laundry before he took a Sears Roebuck contribution and donated it to the Republican National Committee.

Of course DeGay says that the prosecutor is only pursuing the case for political motives; we all know that only Republicans are allowed to do such a thing. Clinton needed to be made an example of because the Republicans needed the world to know that Democrats are just oversexed perverts who don’t love Jesus, unlike Republicans, thus making the attacks on Clinton legitimate and the attacks on DeLay sleezy partisan politics. Clearly what Clinton did affected a magnitude of people outside of himself and his family.



AP Photo of DeGay being persecuted by Democrats:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

14 comments:

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jim said...

If god loves me why doesn't he help me out? I help out the people I love...

sounds like a pretty crummy lover to me. I think I'm going to go break up with god.


And before you flame, look up the term sarcasm.

Ryan said...

See Toad, I told you that God was loves you. hoho. Xtreme Faith, I've seen some weirdos on one of the many late night christian channels who break concrete blocks with their head and other acts of Xtreme Faith. It was basically like gods karate, and these people were all hopped up on the holy spirit. Anyways...

As for good old Texas Tommy boy, I came across a good rundown of the record of the "partisan hack" Texas prosecutor who brought the grand jury case foward. The mans name is Ronnie Earle and Think Progress has a great story about this man's record.

http://thinkprogress.org/2005/09/28/truth-ronnie-earle/

Even Delay is going to have trouble spinning this into the realm of left wing conspiracy.

Nölff said...

He deserves to have his nipples to be stuck in a lawnmower blade.

lilmammal said...

Wait. Do Xtreme Xtians set themselves on fire for God? I would like to see that.

Toad734 said...

Of course they do; all you need is faith (or the stupidity) that God will protect you.

Bill Fleming said...

You should figure out a way to get your picture to Delay, Toad (without delay). See if he'll pay you not to show it around. Naw... he'd probably like it.

Ok, better yet, sell it to the National Enquirer or some such. Maybe make a few more tweaks so Mel Gibson doesn't sue you first...although I think you're probably ok with fair use, since it's satire. Go ahead, make a few bucks man. It's a great image.

Tom Harper said...

Excellent picture. Reminds me of those crucifiction jokes from a long time ago: "What a way to spend Easter," "Hey, Judas, I can see your house from here," etc.

NewsBlog 5000 said...

I had a witty comment, but damn, that whole Xtreme Xian thing blew my mind. That's almost as cool as Xtreme Cheddar and Sour Cream Doritos.

Well, I'm off to Pimp my Bible. I think Moses needs a new paintjob.

Toad734 said...

I suggest spinning rims for the King James version.

Does Xtreme Jesus have like a mohawk or green hair, or does he just skateboard and bungee jump?

Nölff said...

I love to see people like that go down.

Grant said...

There is a church where I lived before called "Church on Fire." It has a flaming logo and the building looks like an insurance office. It seems to draw the yuppie crowd - when I passed by on a Sunday I saw a lot of young, sharply dressed people making conversation as they walked to their various expensive European cars.

Toad734 said...

Sound like a Deicide song

Toad734 said...

I was asking a serious question; just wasn't expecting that kind of answer. The term "extreme" has been exploited by marketing exec. to sell to the younger generations; they think if they scream and show people bungee jumping that all of the sudden we will buy their same old Doritos. I just have a vision of a preacher in a jump suite and green hair screaming at kids and taking them on "kayaking for Jesus" trips.