Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mitch Daniels Must be Gay

Mitch Daniels, Governor of Indiana and once Presidential hopeful has just announced that he will not be running for President. He says that he has talked it over with his family and they don't want him to run....Which in Republican language is code for someone has photos of me smoking cock.

Is this his families first day on the planet?? He has been rumored as a Presidential hopeful for almost 2 years now. Don't you think maybe the, "Hey Dad, I heard in the news that you might run for President" conversation would have come up before now? Clearly something else is at play here. Let's vote on the most likely scenario.

He is a Republican so him wanting to stay out of the lime light means one or several of the following:

A. His gay lover is blackmailing him in exchange for meth and if he runs his cover is blown
B. He has a secret baby with a minority of some sort and or an immigrant who may or may not be legal
C. His call girl and or favorite stripper plans on coming forward, writing a book and becoming a reality star if he decides to run for President
D. Is afraid all his Eyes Wide Shut orgies with Dan Burton (Indiana 5th district) will be exposed
E. Just isn't crazy enough to get the End of the World Jesus voters and could never compete on that level with the Bachmann's and Palin's of the world and therefore wouldn't be able to secure all the Pro-Life, Gun and Oil money

My vote is for A.

Oh and if you think Common visiting the Whitehouse was a bad thing, you are an idiot. Here is a follow up of my last post:
The Daily Show

And while we are off topic, Netanyahu is an idiot...He recently claimed that Israel's 1967 border was indefensible and therefore Israel would never relinquish control over some of those areas...The problem with that statement is that they clearly proved in the 1967 war that those borders are indeed defensible or they wouldn't have been able to conquer the lands beyond those borders...IN 6 DAYS mind you, and the Jewish state would not exist...What a moron...And a Zionist thug. He's is just as responsible for derailing the peace process as Hamas, neither feels the other has the right to exist...And also, the shit he says about Jewish ancestral homelands is bullshit too. Prior to the 20th century with the exception of small sections of Jerusalem and other isolated areas, Jews hadn't lived in Palestine since about the 2nd Century AD. In 1850 for instance, Jews made up about 4% of the population of Palestine. How much ancestral homeland could they possible have when there hasn't been a significant population there (aside from the last 100 years) in the last 1800 years?


Anonymous said...

is mitch daniels really smokin the long john? or is that just a casual anti republican statement?

Toad734 said...

Occams Razor.

Anonymous said...

Not sure what that means. Is there evidence that Republicans secretly done that in the past, or is that just a random statement you threw in there? And also, do you dislike Daniels for some reason, except that it's because his political belief is different from yours?

Toad734 said...

I don't dislike him for any reason and he really isn't one of the crazies...He started going down that path when he cut state funding for Planned Parenthood which was pandering to the crazies of the party which is seemingly what one needs in order to gain any traction in the Republican party these days. All things being equal, he doesn't seem like a terrible governor and it's a shame that there aren't more Republicans like him...Not that I would vote for him but he's not as dangerous as a Bush, Palin or Bachmann so if my guy were to lose a Presidential bid, I would hope it would be to someone like Daniels as opposed to the Bush and Palins of the world.

Occams Razor: It simply means the most simple explanation is probably the reason he isn't running. Since it wasn't a secret to his family for the last 2 years that he has been mentioned as a candidate, it's obvious he didn't just now have the conversation of "Do you want me to run for President" with his wife and kids...So the next best explanations were submitted above and him being a Republican and all...And yes, I tried to throw some humor in there...This isn't a completely 100% serious post.

Anonymous said...

I can tell.lol. You sorta remind me of Jon Stewart. I wouldn't want Bachman or Palin to run for president, both because I don't think our society is ready to have a woman president, and I'm clueless on what they do(other than Palin looked hot when she was a little younger.;-))

Anonymous said...

I have heard from sources that I trust that little Mitch has a nonstandard sexual orientation, supporting your first hypothesis.
The pieces of the puzzle fit better with this frame.

Anonymous said...

Mitch should be happy if it's C. I know I would!;-)