Thursday, February 07, 2008

More Sins Committed by Christians Who Think Homosexuality is Wrong

In the book of Leviticus in the old testament of the Bible, Christians have found a passage they believe proves that God forbids homosexuality. I have talked about this before and the same book which condemns homosexuality condones slavery, selling your children, sequestering women on their period, but forbids working on Saturday, men shaving their beards, eating pork, etc. but I have recently found a passage that also makes it a sin to eat shrimp and other shell fish:

Leviticus 11:
10: And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.11: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcasses in abomination.

Deuteronomy 14:
9: These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat. 10: And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Later in Deuteronomy it also says that eating eagles are a sin. That's because God knew that the eagle is the symbol of America and God loves America and capitalism but hates all the other countries. That's why we were allowed to kill all the Indians and take their land, it was like the whole "chosen people" and the land of grapes and honey was happening all over again except this time, for Protestants instead of Jews. We were the new chosen people, God made a mistake the first time. Good thing the all perfect being has learned his lesson.

I am sure there will be people protesting Heath Ledgers death and saying that it was God's wrath for making out with Jake Gyllenhaal but wouldn't their time be better spent protesting a Red Lobster? There are far more sinners out there who eat shellfish than there are people who bone other dudes. The law of God must not be violated.

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