Monday, November 03, 2008

Things You May Hear on Wednesday if Obama Wins

-It's the Liberal Media's fault. They were in love with Obama and only attacked McCain. No one ever talked about Rev. Wright, Bill Ayers, his associations with ACORN, his lack of flag pins, experience, the chance that he may be a Muslim, etc. They only focused on negative attacks towards McCain and his past associates, his wives and extramarital affairs.

-If it weren't for Acorn, Obama wouldn't have received so many votes from dead people.

-Black people shouldn't be allowed to vote.

-It's not fair that such a small geographic area can decide our President. Look, most of the country is red!

-The vote was rigged by fraudulent Diebold voting machines (even though their executives are huge financial supporters of Republicans)

-We need to keep recounting the votes until we find a reason to throw out black votes.

-It's not fair to hold elections in states whose Governor isn't McCain's brother, the Secretary of State isn't the head of the McCain Florida campaign at a time when the majority of the Supreme Court was appointed by conservatives.

-It wasn't fair, white people were kept from voting by gangs of B branding Obama thugs. (AKA, we saw black people at the polling station and that scares us white people...they'll steal your wallet you know!)

-Seriously, this can't be real, a black guy named Barack Obama was just elected as President, stop joking, we all know that can't be true and if it is, someone cheated.

-It's not fair, we kept most black people from voting, told them the election was on Wednesday and Obama still won.

-Hmm, maybe it does help to be the son of an ex-head of the CIA, Vice President and President.

-We should secede from the United States again and form our own country.

-Of course he lost, look who he picked as a running mate.

-Great, now Obama is going to put on his turban and travel across the country killing babies and handing out checks to black people who don't work while planting bombs on all federal monuments and destroying Christmas.

-I, Sarah Palin am announcing that I will a candidate for President in 2012.

Things you won't hear:

-Too many people in rich, white, conservative suburban areas had to endure long lines, faulty voting equipment and inadequate facilities.

-People in black urban areas of Ohio were able to vote without waiting for three hours in the rain.

-I'm leaving the country for a better place that supports my third world way of fundamentalist thinking...Hello Saudia Arabia!

-For the first time since 1964 Indiana voted for a Democrat.

-The price of gasoline continues to fall from its 1 1/2 year low on 10/29/08.

-Ladies and Gentleman, the next President of the United States, John McCain!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Read the short essay at http://www.palin4pres2012.com

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Ron

Patrick M said...

Actually, I was going to congratulate the winner, then declare verbal war. :)

Shaw Kenawe said...

Hang in there, Toad. All my fingers and toes are crossed.

Best wishes from Shaw

Toad734 said...

Now how can you declare war before he even does anything? I mean, the economy did grind to a hault once Bush was elected in 2000 but that was unfair because he hadn't even done anything yet. I guess everyone just kind of knew that the deficit was going to rise and prosperity and peace would cease.

Hopefully the mental effect of Obama winning will have the opposite outcome.

Patrick M said...

Toad: You'll notice I didn't put a name in. There is a chance McCain will win. Either way, the winner will most certainly face a shitstorm of criticism from the posts at SPD. :)

Toad734 said...

Ok, so why would you vote for someone who you already have a shitstorm of criticism for?

I mean, Obama isn't perfect, I don't like his healthcare plan and his tax credits for people with kids but hes a smart guy who knows constitutional law and more importantly, he isn't a wingnut.

If you feel so strongly against McCain, vote for Barr.

PS

I voted at 8 this morning!

Patrick M said...

Well, it came down to the reasons I listed on my Monday post. If the Dems didn't have the opportunity to lock in a president for four years and a chance at the filibuster-proof Senate, and I wasn't in a battleground state, I'd have.

Besides, I'm just feeling a little rebellious today.

Shaw Kenawe said...

toad,

Mike's America is predicting a failed Obama presidency--actually, he and his minions are hoping for it.

Classless. Just plain classless.

I wrote a comment and left it, but now Mike's censoring his comments.

Anyway, for us, it's a new day--and a beautiful one at that.

Mike V. said...

there's a shocker. that guy who runs mikesamerica is one creepy fucker, man.
trust me on this, somewhere in his readers are the kind of folks that we saw on video clips at the McSame/Palin rallies saying they wouldn't vote for a black guy, he's a muslim, etc..
they're all fucking crazy.

Mike V. said...

FYI, He just deleted a comment of mine off his site.

Toad734 said...

Hes been doing that a lot lately. Mainly because he has been wrong a lot lately and people have proven him wrong. even more than usual.

dmarks said...

"-It's not fair to hold elections in states whose Governor isn't McCain's brother, the Secretary of State isn't the head of the McCain Florida campaign at a time when the majority of the Supreme Court was appointed by conservatives."

Actually, Kathleen Harris and the U.S. Supreme Court had nothing to do with it. Every time the votes were counted in Florida, it showed the more voters voted for Bush than for Gore.

Toad734 said...

You mean the votes they actually counted?