Wednesday, March 12, 2008

What Our World Would Be Like If the Bible Were True

There are a sect of Christians and sects of every major religion called fundamentalists. These are people who believe every word in the Bible (or Quran or Torah) and believe that is the unedited, literal word of God. They say that if you don't follow or believe what the book says, you will go to hell and Satan will ass rape you with his pitch fork for eternity. They also believe that this author, this God, is all knowing, all loving and perfect. The funny thing is I would find it easier for people who don't read the Bible to believe that nonsense than the people who do read the Bible. Even if you read the first few verses of the Bible you will find errors and contradictions that an all knowing perfect God should have been able to at least fact check and submit to his editor.

Since there are people who believe that non-believers should be killed, that homosexuality is an abomination,that the Earth is as old as the Bible says it is and that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to Church every Sunday; here is how absurd the world would be if it was as it is written in the Bible.

The Earth would be flat and square, Columbus would be a heretic and would still be floating around in space and I would get mail on Columbus day. Matthew 4:8, Revelations 7:1, Isaiah 11:12

The Sun would Revolve around the Earth. Joshua 10:13

The Earth would therefore be stationary. 1 Chronicles 16:30, Psalms 104:5

The Earth would rest on pillars, not Atlas. 1 Samuel 2:8

The stars would be tiny lights that could be thrown around by dragons. And by the way, there would be dragons. Revelations 12:4, Revelations 6:13, Jeremiah 51:37

Heaven would be a few hundred feet in the sky, when you got on an airplane, that would be heaven, sometimes heaven has bad food and crashes. Genesis 11:4-6

The tallest mountains would only be 20 feet (15 cubits) high. No one would care about Colorado. Genesis 7:20

There would be extra light all day and night long other than the Sun, Moon and stars. Genesis 1:3. (The Sun Moon and stars were created on the fourth day after he created light)

Days would have no basis of measurement or predictable lengths as they clearly don't need the Sun to determine what is a full day. Genesis 1:5

Mustard seeds would come from trees instead of plants and their seeds would be the smallest in the world and would hopefully taste better. Matthew 13:31

When you ate too much, the food would come out of your nose. Numbers 11:20

Rods could be turned into serpents by simply throwing them on the ground. Alice Cooper wouldn't seem as cool. Exodus 7:9-11

Whales would not be mammals, they would have gills and lay eggs. Jonah 1:17

Insects would have 4 legs instead of 6. Leviticus 11:20-21

Camels would not have split hooves, perhaps toes. We would have to come up with a new term to describe "camel toe". Leviticus 11:4, Deuteronomy 14:7

Bats would not be mammals, they would be birds and would lay eggs and poop on your car. Leviticus 11:20

Rabbits would chew their cud and have hooves. Leviticus 11:6

Snakes would talk and eat dirt. Genesis 3:1-14

Donkeys could speak but probably wouldn't eat dirt.. Numbers 22:28-30

Tornados would only kill wicked people not Bible belters in their trailer parks. Jeremiah 30:23

Sinners could make rivers go dry.You wouldn't want to mess with a sinner. Psalms 107:33-35

Sinners could also cause earth quakes just like the gays in San Francisco. Psalms 18:7, Isaiah 13:13

Epilepsy and other diseases could be cured with an exorcism. Matthew 12:22, Matthew 9:32, Mark 5

Doctors would not be needed to cure an illness as all you would have to do is pray. James 5:14-15

The census described at the time of Jesus' birth would have been moved up 10 years earlier than what was described in Roman and Jewish historical texts. Luke 2:1

Evolution would have occurred or perhaps divine intervention from other gods, to create the other people of the world described by Genesis 4:15-18.

Giants would exist and you could have sex with angels to create more giants. This is the world I want to live in as Angels have tight booties. Genesis 6:1-4

Ethiopia would be in Mesopotamia, not Africa and it would share borders with Iraq, Kuwait, Turkey and perhaps Iran and Syria. We would therefore be screwing up Ethiopia right now. Genesis 2:13

It would be impossible for an uncircumcised man to step foot into Jerusalem, or at least get laid in Jerusalem. Isaiah 52:1

You could sell your daughters according to God. Exodus 12:7

You couldn't touch a woman on her period. Leviticus 15:19-24

You could have slaves. Southerners already tried this route. Leviticus 25:24

You could stone your children if they disrespected you...This was not an option. Deuteronomy 21:18-21

You would go to homosexual hell for eating shell fish as they are both abominations. The Bible doesn't describe levels of abomination so they are both just as evil as the other. Leviticus 11:10

Israel would have always been occupied by Jews and they would have always been at peace. Well, they were close on this one. 2 Samuel 7:10-11, 1 Chronicles 17:9-10

So my question to the fundamentalists is if all these things cannot be taken lieterally, can we take anything else the Bible says and apply it to literal interpretation? If so, why?


BB-Idaho said...

"can we take anything else the Bible says and apply it to literal interpretation? If so, why?" Sure,
we can replace the science of evolution with the fairy tale of
creationsism, we can ignore the
scientific data and call global warming junk science. We can continue to fawn over Jimmy Swaggart, while condemning Elliot Spitzer. We can claim that the
Pharaoh did not give Gaza to the Phillistines, from which the moniker Palestine derives. Heck,
we can prove the earth is flat and is the center of the universe!!
er..if we're so inclined. We can.
Why? Now there's the question.

Paul F. said...

too bad you don't understand the Bible.

Toad734 said...

Quite the contrary. I understand it a lot better than many of those so called Christians who pick and choose what they want to believe out of the Bible and intepret one verse literally when it fits their cause and then say the next verse is irrelevant because it doesn't fit their cause. If homosexuality is a sin, so is eating shellfish and shaving your beard. You can't have it both ways.

If you would like to point out where I am wrong, be my guess.

Paul F. said...

Well, many rules were put in place at the time to fit the time and the people of that day and age, many things are written and many thing were put in place because our minds weren't as evolved as they are now. If you didn't know anything about microbiology and carbon dating and even the notion of evolution or astronomy, you would have a very different take on things. Realize that some of these so-called rules were put in place to protect people from themselves. I can't go into specifics because that would take too long, but you have to take it all into context and realize just who were the peopl being taught at that particular time when all this stuff was written.

Toad734 said...

But when you say that you admit that the Bible isn't the word of God and that it is the word of man. God would have caught those mistakes if he had written or even told someone to write the Bible. Sure, no one disputes that the Gospels were written by the scribes of the people who may have been the actual deciples of Jesus but most fundamentalists believe that the Old Testament was the word of God. If so, God isn't too bright and has a very poor understanding of the universe he created. He would at least know that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

Lista said...

Do you have any Idea how Long it would Take, Toad, to Look Up Every Verse that you have Given Reference to and Tell you why it does not Mean what you say it does?

Perhaps I could just do a Few.

Matthew 4:8 - "Again, the devil taketh Him up into an exceeding high mountain, and showeth Him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them."

God had to Speak to them in a Manner in which they Could Understand. If He had Said that the Devil Took Him Up in the Air and Orbited the Earth, they would not have Understood what He was Talking about.

Also, the Known World at the Time was only a Small Part of the Globe.

1 Samuel 2:10 - "The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall He thunder upon them. The LORD shall judge the ends of the earth; and He shall give strength unto His King, and exalt the horn of His Anointed."

I see no Mention of Pillars in this Verse. The Ends of the Earth is Spoken Figuratively. It's just a Phrase that Means the Earth in it's Entirety.

Joshua 10:13 - "And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day."

This is a Description of a Miracle, Toad. The Sun Only Stood Still for One Day, as if Frozen in Time. If you do not Believe in Miracles, then that is a Whole Separate Subject.

Again Figurative. Even Today, when we Talk to Each Other, we say, "I got Up Early to See the Sun Rise", or "I Need to Get this Done before the Sun Goes Down". You would think that we would Know better by now than to Speak such Nonsense, yet that is how we all Talk, Including the Scientists.

Toad734 said...

Wait, so you are saying what is written in the Bible is not literal???
Interesting...So when God says man lying with another man is an abomination in Leviticus (as well as eating shell fish) that isn't literal?

The 10 Commandments are also not literal? Noah's Ark, Jonah and the Whale, Water to wine, resurrection, etc. all not literal??

I have to say I agree, they are just stories like Jack and the Bean Stalk....Which was a miracle by the way...Didn't you know? I mean, it's written in a book from a long time ago so it must be true.

1 Samuel 2:8, not 2:10

No, I don't believe in miracles. But even if the day were extended in a miracle, an all knowing God would have phrased it like this: "..and the Earth stood still and the moon stopped orbiting the Earth" as opposed to the Sun standing still.

Why would I believe in miracles?

Do you believe Set cut off Horus' penis? Do you believe Isis became pregnant after Osiris died? It's the same concept here.

Lista said...

As you can See, even Our Own Language has Figurative Speech that is not to be Taken Literally, such as the Sun Rising or Going Down and by the Way, the Sun is not Really Yellow Either. In Actuality, it is White and Red Hair is not Really Red, but Actually more Brownish Orange.

Does this Mean that we can not Take anything that English Speaking People Say Literally? Of Course not.

Psalms 104:5 - "Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever."

It shell not be Removed form it's Place in the Universe.

1 Chronicles 16:30 - "Fear before Him, all the earth. The world also shall be stable, that it be not moved."

Here is the Actual Hebrew Word in both of these Verses for Moved and Removed...

"Mowt, mote; a prim. root; to waver; by impl. to slip, shake, fall:--be carried, cast, be out of course be fallen in decay, X exceedingly, fall (-ing down), be (re-) moved, be ready shake, slide, slip."

Once again; It shell not be Removed from it's Place in the Universe or from it's Orbit.

Prophecies are Often Figurative and are not Meant to be Taken Literally. Even Fundamentalists Admit that.

Psalms are this Way as Well because they are Poetic.

I Think that Paul Responded Adequately to the Law Section of your Argument. All I'd Add is that Jesus brought in a New Covenant. There are References to Homosexuality, though, in the New Testament. See Romans 1:18-32, Especially Verses 26 & 27.

I Agree with Paul, that you don't Really Understand the Bible and are Really Stretching to Make it Mean what it Doesn't.

Lista said...

Most of the Bible is Literal, but some of it is Figurative Speech and Some of it, such as Most of the Prophecies, is Symbolic.

The Laws were Literal in their Day, yet Jesus Brought in a New Covenant, so the Laws in Leviticus are not Applied any more. The Ten Commandments Still Apply, since Jesus Spoke of them.

The Stories are all Literal.

You Better Correct your Post from 1 Samuel 2:8, to 2:10.

If God has Said "the Earth stood still and the moon stopped orbiting the Earth", they would not of Understood what He was Saying and Understanding is more Important than Technicalities that are Beyond the Comprehension of those Spoken to. Besides, how do you Know that the Earth Stood Still, rather than just some Trick in the Slowing Down of Time?

None of that Matters. The Technicalities are not what is Important. What's Important is the the Lord Gave them Extra Time in that Day so that they could Win the War.

Believe it or not, God Cured Our Dog of two Kinds of Leukemia after we Prayed. He Wasn't supposed to Make it. It Surprised the Heck Out of the Vet. He was Six when he was Sick, but Lived to be 12.

I could tell you Other Stuff as well, but am not Going to Take the Time.

Lista said...

Oh and as to 1 Samuel 2:8...

"He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and He hath set the world upon them." (KJV)

1 Samuel 2:1-10 is a Prayer Spoken by Hannah. See Verse 1. Prayers Fall into the Psalm Category and Pillars is Often a Symbol for Leaders, so she was Speaking of the Leaders of the Earth. See also Daniel 4:25 & 32, which Explains how God, "The Most High is Ruler over the realm of mankind and bestows it on whomever He wishes." (NASB)

You Obviously do not Know the Basic Principles that are Needed in Order to Accurately Interpret the Scriptures.

Toad734 said...

With regards to interpreting the scriptures, I like how "pillars" mean leaders and is not literal but Noahs Ark and Jonahs whale story is literal...Who decided that you?? Not God, not Jesus, not even Paul who wrote Romans (aka not Jesus or God or the holy spirit or whichever Polytheistic god you claim the bible to be inspired by).

The fact is the bible was written in many languages and translated many times and edited many times. Did you know the oldest text of the book of Mark (the book 2 of the other gospels were based) has had the ending erased and changed?

What were Jesus' last words? How did Judas die? Well, it depends on which gospels you read, there are 3 different supposed last words of Jesus and 2 different ways in which Judas kills himself. Not only that, no one really knows for sure who wrote the Gospels (except perhaps Mark) and some of the authors they were named after were either illiterate or spoke a different language in which the book was actually written in. Pauls books also for the most part were not actually scribed by Paul himself.

So, how can you with a straight face say you know the intentions or correct interpretations of these books and words??

I once had a Christian (my mom) that wine in the Bible was just grape juice (cause she doesn't approve of drinking herself) because I obviously brought up the fact that Jesus drank wine and turned water into wine to get a party started. She said I was wrong and that wine in the bible translates into grape juice but when I asked how Noah got drunk on grape juice. People read into it what they want. Do you think there are any Christians out there who stand in front of Red Lobster protesting shell fish?? No, even though in the same book of Leviticus it calls that an abomination just as it does homosexuality but they conveniently ignore that part of the Bible because it doesn't fit their lifestyle. (forgetting what you said about Jesus bringing the new law in which he never mentions homosexuality or shell fish).

So I say pillars, you say leaders...Because it is convenient for you. My mom says grape juice, I say wine because it is easy for me. Do you think the people at the council of Nicea were any different? What about King James or any other person who has reinterpreted the Bible?? Or even people such as you who do not have a degree in Theology.

God did not cure lukemia...An immune system is one more thing you have to thank evolution for and Lukemia is yet one more curse from god you can add to the list. Nor does God make the last second shot go in the basket at the buzzer or the ball go through the field goal posts in overtime. If you pray about everything, eventually something you want, you will get. What you forget is the 1000 other times you didn't get what you wanted.

One pair of hands working can accomplish more than a thousand hands clasped in prayer.

Toad734 said...

I can assure you that my cousin and his wife, who are both devout Christians (he used to be a preacher even) as are his parents and his aunts and uncles (my mom included) prayed every day and night that their 7 year old daughter wouldn't die, but guess what...She's about 5 years now. I can assure you that if a "god" had a choice of saving an only child and your dog, he would have chosen the child, as would anyone. I love my dogs, don't get me wrong but if that is your god and that's how he works, keep him the hell away from me and please do not ever mention me in your prayers to him because he is a sadistic bastard...Literally, since he has no mother, father or creator and spontaneously formed out of nothingness, just like the universe.

Lista said...

I have Already Explained what is Literal and what is not. If you are not Willing to Accept it, that is your Prerogative, yet haven't you Ever called the White Sun, Yellow and Brownish Orange Hair, Red? Haven't you ever Spoken of the Sun Rising or Going Down? By your Own Reasoning, Perhaps nothing you say can be Taken Literally Either.

What you are Expressing is Black and White Thinking. That is, it has to be all one way or the Other, but the World doesn't Actually Work that Way.

You should Know that I'm not the One who Decided these Things. What a Ridiculous thing to say.

Every Time the Bible has been Translated, the Original Greek and Hebrew was Used. We Still have the Original Greek and Hebrew Texts and it was Very Carefully Done. Paraphrasing and Editing is never Allowed Unless the Bible in Question is to be Openly Labeled a Paraphrase.

Just because a Book or Letter is Dictated or Even Translated by the One Actually Writing it, doesn't Mean that the One Dictating it is not the Actual Author.

Lista said...

Perhaps Jesus had a Whole Set of Last Words and each of those Present Remembered something Different. So? As to Judas’ Death, at First, I Thought that the Phrase "Fell on His Sword" was just a Metaphor Meaning to Kill Oneself, yet at Closer Look, I realize that the Bible does not Actually say that and it is not in the Gospels either. It is in Acts.

"Now this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity; and falling headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out." (Acts 1:18, KJV)

Charles Ryrie Explains that he Fell because he was of his "Ineptness in Trying to Hang himself." Also see Matthew 16:19.

The NIV Study Bible also has Further Notes that I'm not going to Take the Time to Type Out in their Entirety. One of the Thoughts, and there were Several, was of the Old Jewish Custom of "Hanging on a Gallows" which Involved "Impalement, as is Confirmed in Pictures and Statues from the Near East." (Taken from NIV Study Bible Footnote Relating to Ester 2:23)

You are Actually Talking to someone now, though, that Thinks that Pastors that are Overly Zealous and Sure of themselves are Out of Line because Everything is not as Chrystal Clear as People Think, yet there is a lot that Christians Agree on and that is what is Key to Our Beliefs and Our Salvation.

The Wine in the Bible was Indeed Wine, but it was not as Strong as some of the Hard Liquor that is Served now. That's Based on Historical Study. Your Mom's Idea; Well, I don't Know Who Came Up with that One. I Agree with you that it's not Correct.

Timonthy was Actually Told to "Drink a Little Wine for the Sake of the Stomach.". I don't Remember the Reference and am not going to Bother to Look it Up, yet we are also Told, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." That One is Ephesians 5:18, KJV.

Lista said...

I also Already Explained about Leviticus and Old Testament Law, so Forget about the Shell Fish already, will ya? Paul Mentioned Homosexuality and Paul was Under the New Testament or Covenant.

Convenience has nothing to do with it. You are Assuming Motive and you do not Actually Know anyone's Motive. That is just a Judgment Based on what you Choose to Believe. What I Stated Relating to Judas’ Death was Taken From Study Bibles and they got their Information from both Biblical and Historical Studies and Trust me, this Type of Study Involves Effort, not Convenience.

Your Mom hasn't Studied the Bible and the Historical Facts Relating to it. That's not True of everyone who Believes.

I've been Told that Getting a BA Degree of any Kind, at a Christian College, is Like Minoring in Bible and Theology, because of all the Bible Classes that are Required.

You can have your Opinion about whether or not God Cured my Dog of Leukemia. I have Mine.

Prayer Helps People to Know exactly where the Work and Effort should be Applied, so that that which is Accomplished is not just Meaningless Activity.

You have obviously become Quite Bitter in Relation to Christianity. I am so Sorry to Hear about your Cousin’s Daughter. I don’t know why my Dog was Healed Only that he was.

Toad734 said...

Here is a whole list on inconsistencies:

I am sure I have left out many.

In it, in the gospel of Matthew 27, it clearly states Judas hanged himself. In Acts, when you say "all his bowels gushed out" in describing someone falling on his sword, that is not a metaphor. I could buy the metaphor line if it only said he fell on his sword because at least in modern vernacular, that can be a metaphor but even today, if someone followed that with, "and his bowels gushed out and he was dead", I would know it was a suicide.

And knowing what I know about Jesus, I do agree with you that wine was wine and it was ok as long as you didn't get shit faced and lose control of your faculties...Not that I personally care either way cause I do not believe Jesus was the Son of god, god, the messiah or anything else, and sort of question if all the stories are even talking about one, single, actual person as there is very little mention of him by the Romans and others, but it was just the point of people reading into it what THEY want it to mean and or taking one part of the Bible literally (Homos in Leviticus) but not taking something else literally (Shellfish in Leviticus that is basically on the same page as the homo thing) etc. And thus calling into question the validity of following anything or believing anything from the BIble that was for the most part written by unknown people with unknown intentions and in the case of the Gospels, 30 years later and a 1000 miles away. Most scholars believe the author of Mark, who may indeed be the only gospel written by the person it is named after, had never stepped foot in the Holy Land due to his poor concept of the geography of the land. Mark and John for instance fail to mention that he was born of a virgin...If I were writing a biography of someones life, who was supposed to be a divine savior ...Don't you think that would be something I wouldn't forget to leave out?

If you take everything with an open mind and face value, what do you have; that is what I am asking. Sure, some Theologians have a better understanding of both translations, contexts and what not than you and I but the guy at the Southern Baptist Church screaming about homo's, abortion and taxes is not one of them, nor are the Pat Robertsons of the world or the Mega church preachers who have their own political agendas and just say what gets the people fired up to keep themselves rich.

Toad734 said...

By the way, I had open heart surgery as a kid. If it had gone unnoticed or untreated I would be dead by now. I am sure my Mom prayed and I am positive my Dad didn't...I can just as easily say I was healed because my Dad didn't pray...How many people didn't pray for your dog or even, how many people hated your dog and prayed that it would just die and stop barking or shitting on their lawn or whatever?? But, at the end of the day, I was saved because of science and medical technology and my own immune system and I am going to bet your dog was too.

Lista said...

Sorry that I'm so Long in Responding to this. It seems to me that the Last Comment you Wrote was Submitted 3 Days ago. Oh well. These Things Take Time. Anyway, here is the First of a Three Part Comment.

I have Already Explained what is Literal and what is not. If you are not Willing to Accept it, that is your Prerogative, yet haven't you Ever called the White Sun Yellow and Brownish Orange Hair Red? Haven't you ever Spoken of the Sun Rising or Going Down? By your Own Reasoning, Perhaps nothing you say can be Taken Literally Either.

What you are Expressing is Black and White Thinking. That is it has to be all one way or the Other, but the World doesn't Actually Work that Way.

You should Know that I'm not the One who Decided these Things. What a Ridiculous thing to say.

Every Time the Bible has been Translated, the Original Greek and Hebrew was Used. We Still have the Original Greek and Hebrew Texts and it was Very Carefully Done. Paraphrasing and Editing is never Allowed Unless the Bible in Question is to be Openly Labeled a Paraphrase.

Just because a Book or Letter is Dictated or Even Translated by the One Actually Writing it, doesn't Mean that the One Dictating it is not the Actual Author.

Lista said...

I have Also Explained to you What is Literal and What is not and the Reasons Why, but you will not Accept it. You are Reading into my Words what you want to Believe and Shutting Your Mind Off to what I am Actually saying.

I May not Be as Scholarly as some, but when I Study, I Use Scholarly Sources.

We Did not Have the Funds to Do any Chemo-Therapy for Our Dog. The Best we could do is give him a Strong Anti-Biotic, which was in no Way Medically Enough to Save his Life. We Were Told that he would Die, but he Didn't.

To be Fair, I would Admit that what happens to People and Perhaps also Animals, who are Healed of Various Types of Cancer, could be Called Remission by a Skeptic, yet it is more than Just the Natural Healing Process, because it does not Happen in Every Case of Cancer. In Fact, it is the Exception, not the Norm.

Believe it or not, though, there has been Research done on Prayer. They Actually Did a Research Involving Bacteria, or was it Yeast? I don't Remember. But anyway, Half of the Trays were Prayed for and the Other Half were not and the Yeast/Bacteria that was Prayed for Grew Faster. You don't have to Believe it if you do not Want to, but again that Only Reflects Your Bias.

Lista said...

Hi Toad,
I've been Having Trouble Posting this Comment. It was Supposed to be Before the Previous One, but for some Reason did not Post. As it Turns Out, the 9:43 PM Comment is a Duplicate of an Earlier Comment, I did that by Mistake, not that a Little Review wouldn't Hurt you. Here is the Missing Comment that I'm Going to Try Posting Again.

If you will Read my Comments more Carefully, Toad, as well as the Verse in Question, you will Realize that the Bible Does not Say that Judas Fell on His Sword.

I Gave the Explanation Above as to the Nature of Being Hung from a Gallows and how it Involved Impalement, again I say "as is Confirmed in Pictures and Statues from the Near East." and if you don't Understand that, Impale Means Thrust a Sharpened Stake Through. Here is a Link that Explains how "Hanged on the Gallows", in Hebrew Times, sometimes Meant Impelled on a Sharpened Pole.

That Explanation Makes Perfect Sense to me and if you Think that it Doesn't, then that Only Reveals your Ignorance about Early Hebrew History, as well as your Bias.

And even as to the Metaphor, if it was a Metaphor, it would have been a Metaphor Meaning Suicide, but not Indicating How the Suicide was done. No One is Questioning the Fact that Judas Committed Suicide.

You Seem to have Selective Hearing, because I Told you that Homosexuality is also Mentioned in the New Testament and yet Shellfish is not. You are the One, Toad, who is Reading into my Words what you Want them to Mean.

Toad734 said...

Wait, so Jesus talked about Homosexuality?? What verse?

Maybe "on the 6th day" was a metaphor, maybe"rose from the dead" was a metaphor, maybe "virgin birth (which wasn't even mentioned in 2 of the gospels) was a metaphor, maybe "son of god" was a metaphor...Who is to say they weren't? Oh, right, you just don't want those to be metaphors so they arent?? Again, who decides when the metaphor starts and stops and how do we know they are right or are they just making it up as they go??

Lista said...

You Know, Toad. I have already Told you how to Evaluate what is a Metaphor and what is not in the Scriptures and now you are just Plain Being Stupid.

It wasn't the 6th Day, it was the Third Day. Jesus not Only "Rose from the Dead". He also Appeared to the Disciples, which Later Believed this so Strongly that they were all Martyred for their Belief.

The New Testament Verse about Homosexuality is in Romans 1:18:32, Especially Verses 26 & 27.

There is another Verse that I Think of when I Think of you, though, Toad, and that is...

"Surely He scorneth the scorners, but He giveth grace unto the lowly." (Proverbs 3:34, KJV)
"He mocks proud mockers, but gives grace to the humble." (Proverbs 3:34, NIV)

I Fear for you, Toad, since you Scorn and Mock Christians and have no Desire to Understand, only to Ridicule What you do not Understand. I've Said Enough to you. This Conversation is getting No Where.

Toad734 said...

I have plenty understanding...And if you understood evolution a bit more and even the Bible, you wouldn't be ridiculing me for pointing out facts. I grew up with religion and the bible, my Mom is a born again and the more you read and the more you research the Bible and study it against modern science and history, you realize most of it's validity starts to fall apart. Even the first event of creation has contradictions...Which came first Man or Animals?? You can use the Bible to answer that but the fact is you will come up with 2 different answers. All I ask of you closed minded, true believers is to question what else it got wrong and realize if it gets simple things like rabbits chewing their cud wrong, how much "faith" can you put into the rest of what it is saying...Since we know it was written by several different mystery men and then edited by several more mystery men throughout time.