Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The Daydreaming Conservative

For those of you who don't know, there is a website that has been created by conservatives who don't like the facts and researched data that has been presented and routinely edited on Wikipedia. Therefore, "they", (probably the creationist Jesus crowd) have created a website called Conservapedia. Conservapedia, which to me just screams of open minds, was apparently created so "they" can continue to feed their home-schooled children lies and misinformation such as Jesus and all of his pet dinosaurs. I'm not saying that every Wikipedia entry is 100% valid but it has so many hits that it would be hard to perpetrate a great deal of fraud due to the ability of it's users, both conservative and liberal, to edit incorrect content. And for disputed entries and pages without sources, Wikipedia informs the reader of this and will tell you that in may be biased or incorrect.

Although Conservapedia does give the reader the ability to edit some entries, it doesn't allow for edits on the topic of key issues such as homosexuality. This, although conservative, is basically a supression of reality since I am unable to add Jonathan and David's homosexual affair under the "Biblical Statements" section nor does it allow me to add "Famous Homosexuals" such as Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, Rosie O'Donnel, etc. Since no educated person would ever use Conservapedia as a source anyway, the references often cited for Conservapedia end up being the Holy Bible or a Rush Limpballs book.

So if you ever wondered what conservatives research and think about, here it is:

Most viewed pages and seaches on Conservapedia:
Homosexuality [1,993,523]
Main Page‎ [1,964,386]
Homosexuality and Hepatitis [518,532]
Homosexuality and Parasites [473,828]
Gay Bowel Syndrome [443,619]
Homosexuality and Promiscuity [422,769]
Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence [374,619]
Homosexuality and Gonorrhea [332,331]
Homosexuality and Anal Cancer [295,059]
Homosexuality and Mental Health‎ [294,490]
Retrieved from "http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics"

Apparently Larry Craig, Mark Foley and now perhaps Trent Lott, have had some free time on their hands.

Sure, a lot of these entries are gay bashers looking for talking points when they are arguing the point that God loves everyone, except for Homo's. But if you ask me, here are all the translations of what these searches actually mean:

Homosexuality: My preacher said it was bad but if I just call it a "friendship", like Jonathan and David did in 1st Samuel 18 then God won't get mad.
Main Page: Oops, I meant to go to:"How to convince your wife and congregation that you are not gay".
Homosexuality and Hepatitis: I heard some drug users and gay men have hepatitis. Since I only smoke meth and don't share needles, what are my chances of getting this disease when I molest altar boys?
Homosexuality and Parasites‎: I hear there are a lot of Gay cruise ship lines but I also hear about a lot of people getting parasites on cruise ships. For the ships sailing to Thailand, how many outbreaks have there been?
Gay Bowel Syndrome:I heard this is like irritable bowel syndrome except happier. Gay = Happy.
Homosexuality and Promiscuity: Are men really that much easier than women? How much sex can I expect when I call someone such as Jeff Gannon? Are all men as ready and willing as I am?
Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence: I heard gay men work out a lot and have big throbbing muscles, will this leave me at a disadvantage if I get into a spat with one since I am fat, bald and over the hill?
Homosexuality and Gonorrhea: Since AIDS was sent from God to kill the unfaithful and non-believers, the only disease I will have to worry about is gonorrhea. Since I don't believe in condoms or birth control, how do I avoid gonorrhea?
Homosexuality and Anal Cancer: I've heard of prostate cancer but my pastor told me about a new one called Anal Cancer; is it the same?
Homosexuality and Mental Health: How can you maintain a TV Gospel hour, a seat in the Senate, a wife and family and still make it out to the rest stops and airport bathrooms and not have a mental breakdown when exposed in the media?

3 comments:

St.Nölff,Ph.D said...

They know more about gays than gays do.

Also, I read somewhere that Trent Lott paid for man whores. I don't know if that's true or not.

Lord Butchie The Minx said...

Gay Bowel Syndrome makes me LOL!

trick said...

hey. don't laugh. it's a serious problem. it's obviously serious enough to concern the 443,619 closeted conservative christian men who looked it up on conservapedia.