Thursday, July 21, 2005

Tax Exempt Theme Park?? Florida Still Sucks!

Washington Times article

There is a Biblical theme park in Orlando, FL that recently won a court decision exempting it from paying taxes. The activist Circuit Judge Cynthia MacKinnon decided that "Holy Land Experience" should be tax exempt due to its religious nature.

The thought of religious organizations not paying taxes is disturbing and the thought of a religious theme park in general is even more so. But now, a theme park based on a religious theme somehow gets to avoid the $786,343 property tax bill and all future tax bills, which would be over $1 million per year. Even if the parent company is involved in religious publishing and missionary work how can a theme park sitting on a 12 million dollar piece of property, that charges $29 for admission, be considered a religious entity?

This precedent has given me a few ideas:

1. I am now going to start a religion called Toadism; Toadism is actually a non-denominational, all-inclusive religion which will encourage religious belief in general, not just one specific denomination. I will start a non-profit religious organization based on Toadism which promotes religion through missionary work and religious literature. I will then spin off the following subsidiaries to further all religious education and make them all tax exempt whilst paying myself a 3 million dollar per year salary. Since the parent company should be bringing in 3.1 million dollars per year in revenues I will spend the .1 million left over after my salary on all the religious literature I publish and use the rest to support my religious missionary, me.

2. I will also open a theme park but instead of Christianity, mine will be based on Islamic extremism. This theme park will be called Jihad Island and will include rides which mimics riding in a public bus in Jerusalem as it gets blown up by a suicide bomber, and one where you are a US marine riding around Baghdad in an unarmored Hummer dodging RPG's, small arms fire and IEDs. Since the theme park is religious in nature, I will not have to pay any federal taxes from it's revenues and have enough left over to give myself a nice little raise.

3. The next subsidiary will be a religious-themed condom manufacturer with a picture of Lot on the front talking about how he wished he had condoms back when he had sex with his two daughters. I could also put Biblical scripture on the back from the book of Samuel which explains the homosexual affair between Jonathan and David. Since the proceeds will be used to further the cause of my religion, this should qualify as a not-for-profit, tax exempt organization.

4. I will also start a nail manufacturing company that sells oversized nails for the "big jobs". What better spokesperson than Jesus himself. After all, he knows all about quality nails. The slogan would quote Jesus saying "If they were strong enough for me, they're strong enough for you." Since there is a depiction of a religious figure on my product, that should be enough to keep this one tax exempt as well.

5. Next I would like to make a boxed wine company which would put out products similar to He-Brew which will have a picture of Jesus at a party turning water into wine and Noah getting blasted after the flood waters receded. Of course all profits (after my 3 million dollar salary) will go to support my missionary work and my missionary, which just happens to be me.

Now doesn't a religious based theme park filing for tax exempt status seem just as ridiculous?

IRS explanation of "church"


Anonymous said...

I would like to have the Character of Donald Al Dubai on Jihad Island...but only if my salary too is tax exempt...

BRUISER said...

So Tom De Lay ie. De Shame ...De Lame & De Crook .... has announced legislation to repeal the Campaign Contribution Laws from 1974 after the Water Gate scandal... The things the Reichwingers do to make us forget about Rove and his Traitor Gate scandal ... its scandalous.

gibbysgirl said...

Go for it. Make al lthe religious companoes you can to get away from those taxes. As a person that lives in florida that really pisses me oof because i am sure my tax dollars are paying there taxes for them. uurrggghhhh!!!

Rimi said...

i love sarcasm in whatever form, and you certainly know how to use it! maybe you should come to where i'm from sometime-- see quite another side of this socio-religious mess and the hypocrisy of a 'secular democracy'...
and you might just like to check out these:

Sandi said...

You will need a personal assistant, shall we say 1 million a year, plus company car.

Bridget Unnel said...

Boxed wine? Can I join the Cult of Toadism?

Ridiculous? Heck yeah. Disney's just pissed they didn't think of it already.

United We Lay said...

This is BULLSHIT!!! Churches should be teaxed anyway. Grrrrrrr. Can't speak. Very angry.

Toad734 said...

That's right! In Toadism one box of daily wine is part of our religious ceremony!

Re: Polanco

That's my point, although Disney just incorporates in The Caymans to avoid paying their taxes. I should incorporate myself in the Caymans!

Wacker said...

Hey, L. Ron did it and has a crazy cult-ish follwing. I dont see why Toadism wouldnt be a mult-million dollar success.

Boiled Owl said...

Ba'hai... "Toadism" sounds kind of like the Ba'hai faith.
Maybe your idea's been done Toad. But that Jeehaaw ride sure sounds fun, dude. Ya get cotton candy or fries with that? Or maybe some hummus ?

Toad734 said...

Ive driven by the Ba'hai temple here but I didn't see anything that resembled a Jerusalem Bus Ride rollercoaster.

We will serve Hummus, falafel, Dolmades, Kebbehs you know, your average amusement park foods.

Boiled Owl said...

Chicarónes? Gefiltefish? ...that's it, I'm comin' out.

Nölff said...

Religious Theme PARK! Exempt from taxes! What kind of gangsta shit is that! THAT'S JUST WRONG!

Fact: Jeb Bush was taught by Billy Graham when he was a kid. George also. Billy Graham = crusade.

Nölff said...

Dude. If you ever came out here to where I live I think your head would explode:
I live a couple of blocks away from Bob Jones University.

trick said...

Another reason to call for the secession of the South. What a better world we'd live in.

Toad734 said...

RE: Nolff

Christian Holy land????

Didn't South Carolina try this once before?

As long as they leave Charleston they can have the rest.

Boiled Owl said...

Oh, I'd keep Georgetown too Toad. They got a lady that makes breakfast grits with a shrimp sauce that tastes so good, make ya wanna smack ya momma.

Anonymous said...

1. I am now going to start a religion called Toadism; Toadism is actually a non-denominational, all-inclusive religion which will encourage religious belief in general, not just one specific denomination. I will start a non-profit religious organization based on Toadism which promotes religion through missionary work and religious literature. I will then spin off the following subsidiaries to further all religious education and make them all tax exempt whilst paying myself a 3 million dollar per year salary.

Been done! see L. Ron Hubbard and his religion, Scientology.

Sandi said...

Just because it has been done before, does not mean that Toad would not be able to do it now. L. Ron opened the door for anyone who wants to suddenly join the elite 1% in the U. S. I say it is wonderful that L. Ron did it, makes it that much easier to get all the tax exemption forms.
However Toad I think your theme park should serve some traditional American junk food too. Plus, don't forget the sacramental box wine.

Xena76 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ryan said...

Whoo, looks like you got Zena warrior christian all hot and bothered. Funny.

Organized religion should be looked at as a big piece of the welfare state, and something like this park is a blight on all that is moral or holy - or at least what pretends to be.

Did you hear about this new "megachurch" in Texas? A Christian group purchased a grand scale basketball stadium and turned it into a church. I wonder what they pay in taxes there...

Maybe churches, like bars or other places where you can fill your body and soul with whatever kind of substance of percieved enlightenment you choose, (that may in fact have harmful side effects), should have to obtain the same kind of expensive licence to distribute their product.

And yes indeed they should also have to pay all applicable taxes that other commercially minded zones are afflicted with. Sounds like a case that Eminent Domain recently held up by the supreme court could easily rectify by seizing the land and turning it over to a owner who would generate more tax revenue. It works for big business against mom and pop shop type of operations.

Either way, good work. I didn't even hear about this before now. And no matter what any ranting repressed christian true believer may profess, they would be taking up arms if this was done by any religion other than their own and they know it too.

Imagine if a satanist church, not even an amusement park like in this case, was recieving government funds to further it's view of spirituality, tax free using government money.

Jesus- we can barely get federal funding for condoms which prevent abortions and STDs into our schools, or stem cell research which could preserve, extend and even enrich lives of both christian and non believing Americans alike. They may be winning the battle but as long as people are keeping up and being informed the war will carry on to keep America secular.

Two Minutes J said...

Hahah, thats funny shit. but you left out the catholics. they need one too. It could be called: "Crusades on the Range: A Killing Spree Extravaganza!", or some shit. it would be like a shooting gallery, but in a field, and the targets would be jews and christians just running around aimlessly enclosed in a barbed wire fence. Ohh and since there will be jews there, we might as well put in some oversized ovens for good measure..

Toad734 said...

RE: Jason

I think you meant Jews and Muslims?

Xena76 said...

Since clearly when allowing comments you don't discriminate on the basis of random studpidity, here's mine...

To discuss this with you is absolutely an act of futility, and no matter what I say, you will still continue to hate Christians and Republicans like all should hate terrorists, but here it is anyway.

The first thing is, this theme park is a greater embarassment to real Christians than you can imagine. Theme parks are not part of the Christian faith. The tax-exempt part is apropriate as it is supposed to be reserved for those groups that do something for the community, unlike the proposed Toadism.

Also, gissbysgirl, you are a complete moron. I also live in Florida (which is a proper noun, by the way) and have lived here my ENTIRE life. Your tax dollars DO NOT pay the taxes of the theme park, they simply aren't collected. If you have a problem with that, that's fine but please get an education about taxes before you say stupid stuff like this.

#1)Toadism would require someone believing in your BS and further require they donate money as a result of believing in your BS.

#2) If you listen to the Islmaic clergy, extremism is not part of the religiion, and assuming so is profiling.

#3) Yeah, Lot had sex with his daughters. Disgusting. As a result, the Ammonites and Moabites were evil people, finish the research. There was no homosexual relationship between Jonathan and David. I guess you don't know what it is like to have a male friend.

#4)You are a crude SOB. I resent everything you said in #4.

I really have nothing else to say, but what was is it ER said about drinking and blogging???

Toad734 said...

RE: Xena

Not that this is the point but since you mentioned it:

2 Samuel 1:26: I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathon: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.

1 Samuel 18:3: Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
18:4: And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

1 Samuel 18:21: Saul thought, "Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him." Therefore Saul said to David a second time, "You shall now be my son-in-law."

The story behind this one is when Saul was offering David one of his Daughters; the theory about the second time you will be my son-in-law, is that David was already a son-in-law of Saul through Jonathan. Albeit there are multiple translations, and they can all be interpreted differently, as with the rest of the Bible.

How is Toadism any less of a religion than any others? Especially ones such as Scientology and Mormon?

Ryan said...

Your tax dollars DO NOT pay the taxes of the theme park, they simply aren't collected. If you have a problem with that, that's fine but please get an education about taxes before you say stupid stuff like this.


This I understand, even with my remedial knowledge of tax law. According to this statement though if taxes are not collected, there is no harm to anyone else who taxes are collected from.

I pay a lot of taxes. Taxes for my paycheck, on the food that I buy, on the car that I financed, on the school loans that I have taken, on the house that I live in, on just about everything that I need to get me through the world in which I live.

Although I accept having to pay taxes I dont think it is as simple as your explanation from above. Why should a theme park or anything else get out of having to pay taxes simply because it is religiously oriented?

The taxes that arent collected there could be used for some good, maybe for people who cannot afford healthcare or insurance or child care, or food, or anything.

If someone who has hit bottom needs to not pay taxes to survive I think that would be ok with me, and I dont mind putting in when they are paying nothing. Why should an operation such as this park be tax exempt just because it is religious.

Assuming that you are a republican would you be ok with the poor simply not paying taxes, and still believe your statement above?

Your tax dollars DO NOT pay the taxes of the poor and indigent, they simply aren't collected.

Its like an ancient republican war cry that 'we dont want to pay for some welfare mother to support her family b/c she cant keep her legs closed' (she is not living in a way that christians believe is good).

The fact is that whenever taxes arent collected somebody has to pay. If its so a single mother can buy food for her family I dont mind.

When its a religious organization not paying so that they have more money to go out and throw at the nations leaders to influence our whole country towards your moralist, sexist, capitalist utopia - this I have a problem with.

Anonymous said...

why was a comment deleted???

Two Minutes J said...

Yea, Jews and muslims. whatever. also, it looks like xena needs a good anal fucking.

Chris said...

No more so than any other church-sponsored money generating enterprise. If they choose to provide entertainment for what is essentially a contribution to the church, that is a matter between them and God. The state should have no say in it. They could start charging tax on secular individuals that patronize the park, but that might run afoul of the ACLU, or their ilk. It sounds like you want to revoke all tax exemptions from religious institutions. Do you not understand the great service they do for this country?

Chris said...

That last comment was in response to this, the last line of the post: "Now doesn't a religious based theme park filing for tax exempt status seem just as ridiculous?" ---it seemed out of context, because I didn't read any of the other comments.

Toad734 said...

Sure they do Some good, so do I; does that mean I should be tax exempt? They also do a lot of bad and do a lot of things that undermine the fabric of this country; not to mention all the hate they spread and divisions they cause among Americans.

Anonymous said...

First, there is no "Historical information". It is a wonderful story that has been brought to life by the deep pockets of Trinity Broadcasting. Actually, their viewers.
For people that wish to retain the integrity and truth of biblical times. There were an awful lot of white folks during those days. Except for the token black singer. The environment felt bigoted. It starts out innocent enough. A typical Orlando attraction. But it becomes cult like very fast. By the time you leave they will have squeezed you for every dollar you had. And, tried their best to convert you to... Something. From the gaudy cheep trinkets, overpriced and bland food, to the feeling that you are trapped. I can't really comment about their shows, if you like that sort of cheesy stuff. I found that it got a bit repetitive. The same old same old as you went from place to place. The Passion was just ridiculous, and over produced. A total mind screw. It is way too hot in Florida to be subjected to such stagnation. Also, be prepared to stay right where you were sitting. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to leave any of the shows once they have started. You will find that there is a staff member withing arms reach. On guard, preventing you from leaving. With convincing lines like, "don't leave now, this is the best part." Or, "you will miss out on the blessing".
Give me a break, I needed to go to the ridiculous bathroom. That being another story. I have to be honest. They know if you walk out. You won't come back. It is a dirty tactic, when religious guilt won't hold you in your seat. There are wonderful churches all over Orlando and you can visit for FREE. I have never see so many deers in front of the headlights as I have looking at their staff.
Don't give your money to these people. Give it to the homeless or better yet pay your electric bill. If you came to Orlando to have a fun or even a spiritually good time. Holy Land Experience is not it. For those that found it a great place to visit. I watched many of you, while I was there, so happy to be so close to Jesus. All I can say is, I am glad I did not bring my children.